I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
