If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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