addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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