I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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