he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
