grandma shit on top of the toilet
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
