It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
