we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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