obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
