Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
