Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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