I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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