Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
