If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
