hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
