im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
