my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
