I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
