okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
