she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize