i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
