All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
