Me too!
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
We are two peas in an std pod
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
