Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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