Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
It's official drugs can't kill me
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
