Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I need a beard to bite.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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