Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
