im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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