he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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