a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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