I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
