SEEEEXXX PLEASE
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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