just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
