I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize