Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
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