weddingsv make me drug and hornr
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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