im gay
i know
yea but for you.
one might say we're banned from that church
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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