tell your sister to shave her snatch
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize