everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
