Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
