i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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