pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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