I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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