turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
