she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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