We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
