This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
