haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
