I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
