This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
