a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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