So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
