Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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