their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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