hotel room ftw
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
