I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
