I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
