Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Randomize
