dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
