for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
