Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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